holy fuck call an ambulance

This seems real

If they ask you for google play and apple gift cards you should definitely send them some

Maybe it’s my specific media consumption, but the most chaotic thing I’ve seen from the LA protests are police using excessive force on protesters

Ive seen these JD Vance facemorphs so many times that when I saw an actual image of him the other day I almost couldn’t recognise him

Biblical end time blunt rotation in that room jesus fuck

the woke left (the district judge) is trying to cancel me for exercising my free speech (grooming minors)

I’d respect it

Every other technique I’ve used to attract goth girls has failed so I’d be willing to try this

As far as cringe goes, I feel like it has some self awareness baked in, so it’s not the worst, but yeah nah if I saw a 40 year old man wearing this I’d wince a bit

Okay so let me think out loud

August is month 8

It takes 9 months for babby to formed

Okay so 9 months prior to August is…

Wait fuck does that include the first month

No wait yeah

So human mating season peaks in December

Makes sense.

In the north, it’s too cold to go outside and play ball sport, might as well impregnate partner.

In the south, it’s too hot to go outside and play ball sport, might as well impregnate partner.

So the solution to the declining birth rate is to criminalize ball sport

I will take my findings to the UN

I hate that we live in a time period where anti-gay politicians are around AND get votes

We’re still no better than back when we discriminated against left handed people

Like, are we always going to be fucking stupid? In 500 years are they going to be voting on a furry segregation bill while a meteor the size of Estonia is barrelling towards earth?

Mr Stamina

Maybe we can get LSD pregnancy medicine to market this time

I remember last time Chad was also on the list and their government was like “yo dude wtf did we do!?”

Also, I feel like he wouldn’t be able to recall more than three countries on that list if prompted

We don’t even need complex AI to replace CEOs

One ruby script can easily:

• Lie to the public
• Tell shareholders to buy more stock
• Shift blame when a product horrifically disfigures someone
• Lobby Congress
• Lay off thousands of employees and take a fat bonus

Bots? On Reddit!?

I don’t know what it is, but if you tell me “You shouldn’t laugh at this because only 13 year olds laugh at this” before you show me something, I will involuntarily laugh 200% harder.

Did I just install a backdoor into my phone by opening this

I imagine that’s not the best place to find a sample of clean penises

They release the tape

Epstein sits alone on the bed in his cell wearing a fancy golf shirt and jeans, the standard prison uniform, according to the FBI

He reaches for a burlap rope from his Acme toolbox with all three of his arms.

As he ties the rope around his neck, his face slowly appears to morph into different actors from royalty-free stock videos.

Once he secured the leather belt around his neck, the couch he was sitting on vanished underneath him, concluding his demise.

Several minutes later, the guards burst through the door to Mr JEFPY ESTÆN’s cell. They realize they are too late and conga line dance out of the prison.

I didnt even know he was sick